Ascendant: Hello, is this the office of Saul Rubenstien, Agent of the Stars?
Ascendant: Ascendant.
Ascendant: No, with an 'A'. D-A-N-T.
Ascendant: Look, Saul, I'm sorta in a hurry here… for the sake of expediency can we both stop pretending you have a secretary? Or that you have clients other than me?
Ascendant: Thanks.
Ascendant: Ok, Saul, I've been looking at the script you sent me…
Ascendant: Right, Ascendant: The Movie.
Ascendant: Well, I've got some problems…
Ascendant: Well, it's written in Norwegian, for one.
Ascendant: No, I wasn't aware that Norway was the new Hollywood.
Ascendant: Who told you that?
Ascendant: Well, of course they're going to say that, Saul, they're the Norwegian Film Commission…
Ascendant: Look, we're not filming in Norway…
Ascendant: What Fjord scenes? When have I ever been to a Fjord, Saul?
Ascendant: Ok, I'm getting confused here, and I don't read Norwegian, so why don't you just give me the plot details?
Ascendant: Uh huh… Yeah… Ok…
Ascendant: Right… Ok… I see…
Ascendant: Huh… And then? Alright…
Ascendant: Ok, so if I understand you correctly, you're telling me that Ascendant: The Movie is about the first female Norwegian dog sledder to win the Iditarod, right?
Ascendant: No, that is exactly the way you put it, Saul
Ascendant: What do you mean, what's wrong with that?
Ascendant: No, I honestly don't even know where to begin.
Ascendant: I'm sure it IS a beautiful story, Saul…
Ascendant: No, I like dogs just fine. That's not the point.
Ascendant: I don't care if the dog sled is symbolic of the struggles we all face in our daily life.
Ascendant: What do you mean it's a metaphorical allegory? Do you even know the definitions of those words, Saul?
Ascendant: Yes, I've heard of Artistic License - -
Ascendant: Look, I'll make this very simple, Saul.
Ascendant: I'm a superhero.
Ascendant: Norwegian dog sledders, while certainly very inspirational, are NOT superheroes.
Therefore, Ascendant: The Movie, which is allegedly based on me, should probably be about superheroes.
Ascendant: No, not dog sledders.
Ascendant: Not even as a sidekick, no.
Ascendant: Just find someone to do a rewrite.
Ascendant: Why is that a problem?
Ascendant: No, not in Norwegian, Saul. In English.
Ascendant: Yes, I'm sure that will be easier, Saul.
Ascendant: Ok, moving on… Ascendant: The Game.
Ascendant: This is actually really well done, Saul. Good graphics, nice sound.
Ascendant: Who did you say did this?
Ascendant: Cryptic What?
Ascendant: No, never heard of them.
Ascendant: Anyway, I'm having a lot of fun with it, running around the city, fighting criminals.
Ascendant: No, I've only managed to get to level $level so far.
Ascendant: It's just… I dunno…
Ascendant: Something about it seems very familiar.
Ascendant: Yeah, I can't put my finger on it, but whenever I play Ascendant: The Game, I get this weird sense of Deja Vu…
Ascendant: And what's with that Payphone mini-game? That seems kinda lame, if you ask me.
Ascendant: Anyway, on the whole, I like it.
Ascendant: I just wish I could figure out where I've seen it before…
Ascendant: Well, it will come to me. But good work on this one, Saul.
Ascendant: Right… Well, just get me a new script for the movie, Ok?
Ascendant: Alright, thanks.
Ascendant: Ok, I need to be going. Is there anything else?
Ascendant: What do you mean, 'Don't watch 60 Minutes this week'? Why?
Ascendant: Saul, is there something you want to tell me?
Ascendant: No, my signal is NOT breaking up, Saul, I'm calling from a pay phone.
Ascendant: No, I called your office phone. You don't even HAVE a cell phone, Saul.
Ascendant: Saul - -
Ascendant: Saul!
Ascendant: (click)
Ascendant: Sonova..

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